And then....

Fuck you, hi5. Fuck you for killing the entry I spent two hours writing. Fuck you.


Sigh.

I won't bother to try and recapture what I had in all it's glory, so forgive me whilst I summarise.

- I spent all day pacing out over 3 square klicks of concrete pathing and asphalt. I spent another six hours walking around the rest of the retirement complex, clipboard, calculator and measuring tape in tow. I ache.

- Erika. I wrote you whole paragraphs. I'm sorry that this will likely be briefer.

I don't know what it is that makes waking up beside you so indescribebly comforting and amazing. Your presence alone soothes me into a sleep so deep and relaxing that I cannot explain. When you're not with me, I find myself awake at night - some sort of deep mental alert triggered by the failure of my automatically searching arms to wrap around your soft warmth. Confused and bewildered, I'll wake up simply knowing that something is wrong, something is missing. You.

Thank you for always trying your best to be there for me, and for being as patient as possible. I've tried to give at least as much as you have back in return over the last ten months. I'm sorry for the times I've fallen short.

The love we've shared has been so incredible that, inadvertantly, it taught me how to feel alone. I will never go through what we've been through with another. I have no desire to. You know what I want of our future. Not even Milla would threaten that :)

One day baby, one day. She just came a bit early the first time around.

- I had a big segment written out on Fiji and my return there about a year ago. It wasn't much more than my melancholic ramblings about what I found there but I'll still probably bother to write it out again at some stage.

- For those who care, I'm planning to whack something up on www.fictionpress.com at some stage this weekend, I'll post here when I do. I would really, really, REALLY appreciate anyone who took the time to read it and offer constructive criticism. Pleaes don't shelter me from the latter part of that phrase - it's really the most important :)

- I'm real tired and annoyed now, and cannot be bothered checking over this before I hit submit. I apologise for any glaring flaws or sentences that don't make sense.

- Picure: Modern medicine did it's best, now it's up to me.